Archive for September, 2009
So you think you’re a musician…
Posted by colson in Uncategorized on September 29, 2009
Back again with a nice list of observations that have come over the past two years of living with a musician. I hope that women somewhere will somehow sympathize with me on this despite me being a guy and my roommate being a girl.
- Don’t tell people you are a professional musician when the most you make is enough to cover your bar tab for the night – if even that
- Don’t borrow your roommate’s musical gear while promising to replace it with your own some day. You’re lying and we both know it.
- If you’re almost 40 and the most you have to show for it is a couple of CDs you made, you might want to think about hanging it up.
- Don’t tell everyone you’re a professional musician when you work a part-time job easily outsourced to a third-world country.
- For God’s sake – stop doing benefit shows for anyone and everyone of your friends any time someone farts or falls down.
- Don’t expect your friends to show up at every show. We’re far too nice to tell you just what we really think about your band.
- If you do a benefit show for someone else, make sure it is about someone else and for chrissakes stop trying to make it about you.
- Your lyrics suck.
- If you think practice means getting your band mates to bring all of the beer and toilet paper over to your place so you have a stockpile of both, you need a new career choice.
- And finally – if you are going to write a song, for $#@$#@ sakes, don’t write a song about your kitten. Think I’m kidding? See #8.
So you want to learn how to program…
Consider this a primer on programming by a non-programmer. Why would you heed the advice of self-described non-programmer? Easy – I’m less enchanted with technology than most fanboys. So here are a few precursors you should consider before you jump in to programming.
Lesson 1: Languages are like underwear; lots of sizes and colors, one distinct purpose. No matter what the fanboys throw at you in terms of benchmarks, frameworks and syntax, it all comes down to preferences. But if you’re paying for courses, you might as well learn one that is being used widely to some degree. It makes finding an actual job somewhat easier.
Lesson 2: Sometimes these preferences are dictated by the person paying your paycheck. Other times you can go it alone and inject your own preferences into the project. Either way, if you accept Lesson #1, you should be able to program in any language with some success. If you can’t get your mind around a concept of a language you don’t “know”, it is probably because you don’t understand your preferred language either. The only exception, for example, is if you were using a procedural language and then jumped in to the object-oriented pool. Then you have new concepts to learn. But it shouldn’t be completely foreign territory.
Lesson 3: Frameworks are designed to make you more productive (or lazier) by doing some things that are often repetitive. A framework will not do you any favors if you skip Lesson #2 and don’t know the language.
Lesson 4: Computer science is often taught in the finite space of mathematics. But the real secret is that you should know an equal amount of statistics. The business world, where you will most likely derive a paycheck, is based in the world of probability. If you can’t wrap your head around the idea of uncertainty and variance, you’ll be JACP (just another commodity programmer) . Standard deviation must be understood.
Lesson 5: “Less is more” – Ludwig Mies van der Rohe: This doesn’t mean doing the least amount possible and getting away with it. Less is more so long as the end result provides more value than doing more and producing less. No one cares how big your app is or whether it has the words “enterprise” stamped on it. If it is a piece of shit, it only means you have a bigger pile of shit to clean up. Take a small app that is a piece of shit and you can easily turn it into something much better, much faster.
Lesson 6: A programmatic solution to a project you are developing is often *not* the solution to the project. Users often don’t care about a granular process or methodology or programming best-practices. Even if it makes sense to you, it probably doesn’t make sense to non-programmers.
Lesson 7: Don’t foist new technology on unsuspecting victims. You’ll end up regretting it when you have to integrate third-party tools, libraries and applications and they’ll hate you far less when you have to tell them the reality of the integration process.
Lesson 8: The user interface must meet the needs of your end user – not what you think they need. People are often wow’ed by the most devilishly simple, attractive interfaces. But slap on an ugly interface and have hundreds of thousands of options, features, tools and utilities and your end user will be lost. Take a hint and load an older copy of Microsoft Word and see what I mean.
Lesson 9: The only thing that makes you a better programmer is being better than most other programmers. Thus, if you wish to avoid having your job outsourced to another country, be better than most. Even if you do lose your job, your talents are easily applied elsewhere.
Lesson 10: You are not god. Don’t act like it. Or if you are just that good, don’t tell me you can’t do something or something is impossible. Like I’ve told a girlfriend or two when they start mouthing off: You can be replaced… especially if you are JACP.
An Open Letter To Net Neutrality Proponents
Posted by colson in Internet Business on September 25, 2009
Proponents of Net Neutrality tend to fail to grasp simple economics as evidenced by this post over at InfoWorld.
Dear Paul,
Thank you for your recent letter to Sen. Hutchinson of Texas. Your letter exposes many of the fundamental problems with comprehending the scope and breadth of Net Neutrality and presents a simple failure to understand the nature of ownership, property, and property rights.
But let’s step back and analyze your own letter to Sen. Hutchinson.
If the big ISPs are allowed to play free and easy with packets traversing their networks, innovation will plummet. Only those companies that can afford to tithe the big ISPs will get to play in the “publicly accessible” Internet, and those that can’t afford to do so will simply cease to exist as an entity on the network — traffic to their sites can and will simply be throttled to ridiculous levels or tossed entirely.
There is no reasonable or rational basis for such an assumption. This is simply based on conjecture. What ISPs have proposed is to use excess bandwidth to serve popular endpoints on various networks on the Internet. There is no master plan to bend everyone over to give them the screw. And why would they? The basic, flawed, logic used by Net Neutrality proponents is that these large ISPs would invariably leverage bandwidth in their own favor at the expense of others. However wealthy and powerful these companies are belies the simple fact that they have their own customers to appease. Adverse actions by these companies affect the ability for these organizations to profit. While they might try such tactics, the logical outcome is that they are restricted. In order to adequately provide an level of service for their end users, they need to ensure the data pipe is sufficiently large to provide for the data coming through their network for non-tiered traffic.
It would be highly counterintuitive for an organization to throttle and reduce services to both the web site and the end user. If users flock away, it reduces the bargaining position the ISPs have with potential website clients. I’ll come back to your conclusion that innovation will decline if ISPs essentially “win”.
Please understand that the Internet is not and never will be a parallel for any other communications medium. It is not analogous to cable TV, it is not analogous to the PSTN, it is a completely separate and unique entity that has nearly single-handedly revolutionized the world socially, financially, and politically. The linchpin of this success is the free and unfettered delivery of data from one point to another. By allowing quasi-monopolies to control whether or not that data is delivered is a most horrible idea.
Unfortunately your logic fails again. There is no such thing as a “quasi-monopoly” – that is unless you are talking about large values of ‘1′. I do agree with you that the Internet is a unique communications medium. But I disagree with your assumption that it is not analogous to CATV or PSTN. The fundamental underpinnings are the same – they are essentially networks for conveying information. PSTN was one step along the path and revolutionized both industry and individual lives along with CATV which helped speed information along through news, programming, etc.
The problem is that you appear to suffer from a lack of understanding the value of each step in the process of increasing the speed of communication. Each of these systems were rolled out and often highly subsidized at one time or another. But because you fail to recognize the value CATV and PSTN provided when they launched, your argument fails to offer any value. You have a historical bias. Next time you get the chance, sit down with an old timer and ask them about the many innovations that were earth shattering or changed their own lives significantly going back as far as they can remember. You might just learn something.
Please note that I am not talking about bandwidth caps or levels of service; I am talking about the fact that you wish to sanctify the actions of large corporations to deny their customers the right to request information from a third party at a whim, to essentially make large swaths of the Internet inaccessible unless both their customer and the third-party site pay a fee for that information.
The problem with this is you are assuming the end result before it is known. ISPs already have this power. You don’t pay your bill and you will find out how quickly they will terminate your access to “large swaths” of the Internet. In fact, anyone who has any invested interest in providing Internet service will provide it to you at a cost. You take the primary point of Net Neutrality and attempt to make it what it is not.
So come back from the land of mythical unicorns and elevator death metal. Even access at the public library has a cost involved whether directly or indirectly. You just continue on with the assumption that there is such a thing as a “free lunch.”
Further, large ISPs have a habit of increasing rates for those who order a la carte services, such as Internet without phone and Internet without TV. They can and will develop pricing plans that make it difficult for dissatisfied customers to use another Internet provider (assuming there is one) without breaking the budget or losing TV service.
Most ISPs provide their service and discount it when bundled with other services. The unbundled price is the unbundled price. I’d love to see this argument stand up with someone at McDonalds. ‘No, goddammit! I want the Big Mac at the bundled price of the Big Mac, not the unbundled price of the Big Mac.” Make sense? Do I need to illustrate how asinine your type of argument is?
Now. The last half of this quote is priceless. A lot of people bitch about a lack of competition. To use your own logic against you – what happens when you get a bunch of disaffected people together pining for something they want? When it reaches a point of profitability and the profit outweighs the cost of doing so – what do you think happens? Competition arises! Not only do most people in the United States have access to broadband Internet, they have more options available to them as well. Wanna wager on it? Two-way satellite, one-way satellite, cable, DSL, cellular – need I continue on? Lack of competition or lack of your ability to see what is plainly evident?
I saved the tie-up for last:
High-speed data equipment and infrastructure are faster and cheaper than at any other time in history. This is the time that we should be working to provide the benefits of high-speed Internet access to those places in this country that are still without it, not trying to impose arbitrary and costly limits on those lucky enough to already have it.
You are absolutely right. So right in fact that if you don’t heed your own observation, you’ll probably die a poor columnist. If technology has made such leaps in terms of speed and financial cost, there is nothing stopping you from going out, gathering venture capital and starting your own ISP where you can enforce your own vision of your piece of the Internet.
Now what the hell does all this have to do with property, ownership and property rights? If you haven’t taken a look at a nice map of the Internet, I’ll tell you: the Internet is nothing but a collections of networks both public (not really public in the sense of “free”) and private. ISPs tend to often be of the ‘private’ variety which implies that they own their network and provide their network as a service to subscribers… subscribers who choose to enter into a service contract.
Welcome to America – the land of opportunity!
Just Ban Me: Because Anyone Knows More Than Me
Posted by colson in Uncategorized on September 23, 2009
I smoke. Not a lot. But some. I go through 1 to 1 1/2 packs a day cigarettes. However, out of that pack, I only smoke about 3/4 of a cigarette before I’m done with the cigarrette. It is a habit within a habit and one that is both not good and becoming increasingly expensive given the government’s tireless need for more money to support more programs to fight my lack of knowledge about things I know far more about than any one given person in government: myself.
Slate (ht: theAgitator) has a recent piece on at least one liberal suddenly being shaken out of his dogmatic daze to realize the real dangers of the increasingly popular nanny state. Now that states and the federal government have pushed through the smoking war and declared victory (sic), they now have time to look at every other potential vice including the consumption of sugary sweets and foods that are considered “bad” for you.
I like to call such paternalism “the success of the anti-smoking crusade”. Now that the victors have squashed resistance to anti-smoking measures they find themselves with even more time on their hands to consider what you and I shove down our throats.
You see, governments are going after my second vice: soda. I drink a lot of soda. I would venture a guess that I probably drink close to 144 o.z. of Moutain Dew a day. But there are a couple of caveats that come with that:
- I mostly drink fountain soda
- I add ice (waters down the content)
- I mix my mountain dew at 40% diet, 60% regular. (cuts down on calorie intake)
To some this may seem like a lot of soda. It is. And by most measures, I’m not obese. My yearly health checkups are generally positive. I have plenty of energy, no weird deformities or abnormalities and like to think I’m doing just fine.
But the ever-wise public health community appears to know better. Some are advocating for added taxes on such items that might lead to obesity because we nitwits have no clue on what our habits do to our bodies.
For example,smokers like me seem to not be aware that we are missing some sensitivity to smelling, decreased lung function, and the increased cancer risk that comes with smoking.
So the thinking goes that soda drinkers don’t know what they are doing to their own bodies. So to increase the amount of information available to soda drinkers and help coerce their habits, a taxes appear to be the best remedy to fight the “good” fight for public health.
On that note, I would invite legislators and public health demagogues to talk to my dentist. In the past year I have probably made the guy fairly rich because I paid, in cash, for the consequences of my poor behavior. I paid alright. Nearly $4500 to pay for the consequences of my habits.
So I guess that maybe I should just be happy that someone, somewhere, knows far more about the costs of my choices than I. If it weren’t for these people, I would have never known the broken molars and cavities were the result of my habits.
MySQL Workbench – Now We’re Getting Somewhere
From time to time I have always enjoyed using MySQL’s free GUI tools… except Workbench. It was a wretched, crashing, wretched, horrible, wretched program in its early stages. I’m happy to say that I’m fairly satisfied with the latest versions despite a couple of small bugs I’ve run into.
I’m an inherent tinkerer so I love designing databases from the conceptual level and having a nice, working GUI just makes it more fun. If you haven’t already, check it out here.
Internet Bubble 2.0
Posted by colson in Internet Business on September 17, 2009
With recent discussion of Twitter’s latest round of venture capital, securing an estimated $50 million, I can only shake my head in disgust. There are lofty valuations and then there are just silly valuations. Not just silly… absurd.
Remember, Twitter is currently generating somewhere near $0 {zero} in revenue. Their only product is a simple messaging service that can, and has, been copied quite easily. While I have an inherent belief their platform is somewhat stable, they appear to already be plagued with bad press covering outages, bugs, quirks, and much-needed criticism of their overall viability.
Over the past year, there have been rumors of Twitter leveraging advertising as the primary revenue generation method. While advertising may be what ultimately funds the fantasy, any company silly enough to consider taking an interest in Twitter should be ready for a giant pool of goodwill on the balance sheet.
Consider that eBay purchased Skype, a service with far more utility than Twitter, for close to $4 billion. Current assumptions of the value of Twitter put it at 1/4 of the value of Skype when eBay made the purchase. Only a couple years later, eBay ate a nice chunk of goodwill on the Skype purchase, reducing the value of Skype at purchase time to somewhere around $2.6 billion. Think about that – when eBay bought Skype, the underlying actual value eBay received was just over 2 x the claimed value of Twitter.
Why? Twitter doesn’t do anything unique or interesting. Sure, cross-linking what amounts to nothing more than short messages is crafty, yet the ultimate utility is far smaller than what the appraisers make of it.
Twitter is a one-trick pony and I dare say that unless they teach the pony any more tricks, it is nothing more than another epic dot-com disaster waiting to happen a-la 2000
