Back again with a nice list of observations that have come over the past two years of living with a musician. I hope that women somewhere will somehow sympathize with me on this despite me being a guy and my roommate being a girl.
- Don’t tell people you are a professional musician when the most you make is enough to cover your bar tab for the night – if even that
- Don’t borrow your roommate’s musical gear while promising to replace it with your own some day. You’re lying and we both know it.
- If you’re almost 40 and the most you have to show for it is a couple of CDs you made, you might want to think about hanging it up.
- Don’t tell everyone you’re a professional musician when you work a part-time job easily outsourced to a third-world country.
- For God’s sake – stop doing benefit shows for anyone and everyone of your friends any time someone farts or falls down.
- Don’t expect your friends to show up at every show. We’re far too nice to tell you just what we really think about your band.
- If you do a benefit show for someone else, make sure it is about someone else and for chrissakes stop trying to make it about you.
- Your lyrics suck.
- If you think practice means getting your band mates to bring all of the beer and toilet paper over to your place so you have a stockpile of both, you need a new career choice.
- And finally – if you are going to write a song, for $#@$#@ sakes, don’t write a song about your kitten. Think I’m kidding? See #8.
